I am mom

I had a moment this weekend. I was standing in a forever long line for the "swings" ride at the county fair for 38 minutes so my oldest could ride. We stood in our own silence as we do, soaking in all that surrounded us. I took a deep breath of the salty-thick air and looked at my daughter. She now stands eye-to-eye with me. A 12 year old in the body of a woman. I can still feel her little fingers tugging at me to be picked up and carried around the fair. She begs for cotton candy and her sweaty arms and legs wrapped around me, piggy-back.

Now there is a legitimate space between us. She leans on the gate, glancing around for people she knows from school. I used to be that girl. Not thrilled to be seen at the fair with my parents. Eager to see friends from school that I hadn't seen all summer. A girl she knows (who is also taller than me), runs up for a hug and they stand there chatting, mom now invisible. I pull out my phone to give me something to do and catch a glimpse of myself in the reflection. And there I am. I am MOM.

Somewhere along the lines I lost that identity of a girl and became MOM. Now, obviously, 12 years ago I became a mother, but this is different. There is a definite difference between being the mommy of a child and the mom of an adolescent. Ugh. This day has come entirely too soon.

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