Looking forward to a break


This probably makes me sounds like a bad mother, but I'm going to say it anyway. About once or twice a year, I seem to reach this point where I feel like I NEED to miss my girls. We come to a crest at the top of a hill that I seem to have been climbing for months, and I just can't take it anymore. I love them both dearly, don't get me wrong. It may be easier, though, to love them unconditionally with the occasional break from the daily needs, wants, whines and fits. I guess what I'm trying to say is: I'm there.

Last night, it took me over an hour to get Bug to stay in her bed and go to sleep. I even had her completely out at one point, tiptoed out of the room, silently closed the door, and as soon as I hit the sofa, she was up. Up and screaming and pounding on her door with all of her might. I thought the walls might come down with her fury. I tried EVERYTHING from trying to reason with her, singing, snuggling, reading, music, patting, but nothing worked. After a while, I couldn't force myself to go back in there, tuck her in for the gazillionth time, only for her to keep getting back up. So, I let the fury roll. And it did, for 20 loooong minutes. I could hear her tearing her room apart, but somehow I found the strength to keep myself firmly planted on the floor outside her door. Eventually, as I knew she would (although I doubted myself several times), she climbed herself into her bed, covered herself up, and fell asleep.

I'm sure I brought this upon myself somehow, but in any case, I need relief!

So, I did it. I finally booked a weekend away for just mom and myself! A weekend for lounging by the pool, reading, hiking, eating too much and SLEEPING IN. All, uninterrupted. We leave Friday, and I can't wait. In the meantime, hubby will have his first ever weekend alone with the girls. I'm sure everyone will be fine. I'm also sure that they are going to take him for one hell of a ride, but what can I do about that? I need this. I need it for my sanity. I need it for my health. I need it for my happiness. And most of all, I need it so I can come home and feel refreshed and ready to tackle mommyhood again.

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Jaimee said...

Oooh, have fun on your vacation. You are not a bad Mom, you are an excellent Mom and deserve a little "me" time every once in awhile. Cherish it. :-)

Robin said...

Ang, I am so happy you get this little excursion! You and EVERY mom deserves a minute away. Grown adults who love each other appreciate doing something alone and then reuniting and the same is true of loving moms and their kids. Your loves will be sooo much more precious to you after a few days away. You might even have a few extra points for everyone fully realizing what it's REALLY like without Mommy around! lol...

PS LOVE the new background...so summery!