Me, me, me!

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Lately, I have found myself thinking not necessarily less about the needs of those around me, but more about my own as well. I don't know how to put it other than I feel like I am at a point in my life where I am where I am and this is likely how my life will continue for the unforseeable future. Unless I do something about it now. I want to feel less like I'm just living day to day, doing what is necessary and little else. I want to start truly enjoying life. Every little aspect of it. And I think that must begin with me. Within me.
I am beginning to work into changing the parts of me that I don't exactly like, and trying to put more effort into the parts that I do. And the list-maker that I am, here they are, in no particular order. My self-help goals in life:
•Become a more patient parent. This is the hardest of them all, I believe. I think about the kind of inpatient, irritable parent that I am so much of the time, and I cringe. I want to be different. I want to do this right. I want to be able to look at my grown girls and be totally proud of how I handled all of those ups, downs and in-betweens. They deserve it. They deserve a better me.
•Get back in touch with my creative side. I seem to have misplaced it somewhere along the way. And it is the part of me that I miss the most. Yes, I have limited opportunity in my job for creativity, but not in the ways that I enjoy the most. I am already working towards this goal, and enjoying every minute of it. Project365 is underway, and although some days it's been a little bit of a struggle to capture exactly what I want to convey, it's been so worth it so far. And today, an opportunity (or rather an invitation) fell in my lap to take a sculpture class at the local museum! It is something that I've always wanted to do, and somehow today, the cards all seemed to fall into place, sitters and all :o)
•Prioritize more time in my schedule for actual ME TIME. This goal could also be stated "watch less tv". This basically means more time for scrapbooking and reading. I want to start reading regularly again. I love getting lost in a book and having the characters and my imagination's visions of the stories in the back of my mind throughout the day. And so I have. I'm reading again. Not every night, but close. And it feels really good too.
•Be an all-around nicer, more generous person. To friends, family, co-workers, even strangers. I will learn to help a complete stranger whom I see struggling, rather then sit back and watch, gawking. The old guy in UDF's parking lot, for instance. Next time I will get out and help the man BEFORE sitting there and watching him struggle for a good five minutes. He was ever-so grateful, but he didn't know how long I'd watched before coming to his rescue. I guess I can say one thing though - the "old" me would have probably not even gotten out of the car.
•Be appreciative of what I have in life. I mean, seriously. I don't have it all, but I sure do have a lot. I can complain all day about the things that I want that "everyone else" has, but when it comes down to it, I am rich in so many ways. I have a warm house and the beautiful, healthy family that I prayed for so long. I have a job, and food on the table, and reliable transportation. I have a mom that would do anything for me, and a husband who loves me no matter how crazy I act sometimes and a handful of friends who put up with me too. And daily kisses from two sweet girls. And clean water to drink, and healthy air to breathe. Oh and free cable. But as a good friend would say, that's only because I'm sleeping with the cable guy ;o)


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